Can you tell me, sir, what TYPE of gas you have?

We just got our new washer and dryer, it's installed and ready to go! So we thought...

After a couple of loads, we realized that when we put the dryer on one of the self-timed cycles, it took well over two HOURS to dry a modest-sized load. Crap. What else can go wrong? We had problems with the washer too, so time to call for warranty repairs...

The technicians come out, of course when Iti is at work. Poor Gringo me, trying to talk to the repair guys. I manage to convey that "it's broke, don't work". OK, step 1 out of the way. They start asking me a bunch of questions, but after awhile I get the gist of it. They want to know what kind of gas we have.

Huh?

The guy's trying to tell me that there are TWO types of gas service, where the gas has a different consistency. The dryer has an option of two valves: one will work fine with one type of gas, but if you have the other, it won't let enough gas through and the temperature will be too low.

Crap, how do I find out what type of gas I have???

I call Iti (on her way home), she suggests I call downstairs and ask the security guard. OK, but talking to the repair guy I came to understand there are two options: "natural gas" and "mumble-ty-oomph". No idea what he was saying for the second. I call the security guy, and I'm pretty sure it's NOT natural gas we have. OK, great, they need to change the valve.

When looking at the washer, they also find that there was a safety bolt that should have been removed by the plumber who installed it. Bolt still there, the agitator couldn't move freely. They threatened us with not honoring the warranty because we apparently had a trained monkey install it wrong, but in the end they "did us a favor" and did the work, didn't write up our ineptitude.

Now you tell me: who ever heard of two types of gas service? How were we supposed to know? Is it REALLY that hard for a country to standardize on one type of gas? Really people? Come on, work with me! I'm amazed they don't have multiple types of electric: 110 AC, 220 AC, DC... How about several plumbing standards for houses? Use any of these 17 diameter pipes! It's all good!! Jeez.

This makes for one very frustrated Chicago Gringo in Mexico...

How Many Times Does It Take?

How many times does it take to buy a washer and dryer? Seriously...

So we just moved into our new condo, the one we'll be staying at for the remainder of our Mexican adventure. With any new home, there were a ton of things to do before moving in. One of the tasks was to buy a washing machine and clothes dryer. We have a pretty constrained place for them, so had to get an efficiency unit that would stack one on top of the other.

I think it was about two weeks before moving that we looked at a few things at Costco, and a grocery/department store nearby. We found a fridge and a washer/dryer combo that we liked, and would fit into the small kitchen and the tiny utility area. Iti wanted to buy them right away. I was like "Why? We'll have to take them to our rental apartment, there's no room, they'll sit in the hallway for two weeks, and then we have to move them to the condo. Let's wait." Iti wasn't so thrilled about the prospect: what if they sell out? Pooh! I say, no way.

We wait a week, and decided that since delivery from the stores to a fifth-story condo was hideously expensive, we'd buy them, have them sit in the apartment for a week, then have them included with the rest of the stuff we hired movers for the following weekend. So of course, we go back to Costco, and the other store, and of course, they are sold out of the specific ones we wanted. They didn't have anything in stock that would remotely meet our size constraints.

Crap.

Of course Iti took it really well... she wasn't mad at me at all...

So now what?

We drive to our new condo to take care of some crap, and then decide to go shopping. We hit up a Home Depot near the condo: they have nothing. I mean nothing. We plan on hitting up a Costco about a half hour away (if we're lucky), and some other stores near there. As we jump in the car and leave our condo, I point out a store to Iti that her mom showed me a week ago. She says "Hey, they sell appliances there."

"Should we stop and check it out?"

"I'm not sure."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

"We have to decide NOW."

"OK let's do it."

Of course we were already too late. I had to take a right turn from the leftmost lane of a fairly busy street, crossing two lanes (thankfully an accepted maneuver in Mexico City), then we had to back track through this neighborhood where all the streets were designed for horseback riders. Even a horse-drawn carriage would have been cramped on these streets...

Turning in to the parking lot of the store was fun. You basically had to jet across three lanes, where all of them were on ramps from other over-passes, and it was all blind so you couldn't see traffic coming and they couldn't see you. Well, at least until your car was pasted all over their windshield. The parking lot of course was tiny and cramped, but luckily there was a spot left.

Lo and behold, this store had the SAME washer and dryer that we wanted! Same brand, model, everything. It was slightly cheaper, but huge bonus: free delivery, even up to the fifth floor. Giddy up. We saw a fridge that was decent too, but it was slightly too small, and they only had the floor unit: it was a little dirty, scratched, and no free delivery on out of stock stuff, so it would cost us 200 pesos for delivery. Not bad. Iti remembered there was another appliance store across the avenue, so we ordered the washer and dryer, paid for it, and went off to find a better fridge.

After lunch at a nice little flauta place, we hit up the other store. Not only do they have the EXACT same fridge we wanted in the first place, and cheaper, but they have the same washer and dryer, and it's cheaper too! Like a couple hundred bucks cheaper after their delivery costs.

Now, the store we bought the washer/dryer at supposedly would match prices if you found it cheaper somewhere else. So, we buy the fridge, take down all the information, go back to the first store, and try to get some money back. Should have known...

They needed to send their own employee to the other store to verify the price. Crud. We sit and wait, for about an hour and a half, in the incredibly hot and stuffy store. They finally come back: "Can't give you a discount, it's not the same." What?

It's the same size, manufacturer, capacity, power, EYE-(clap the hands)-DENTICAL to the naked eye. But apparently the model number is off by a digit...

After debating, we decide to cancel the order here, get our money back, go BACK to the other store, order it. We ordered it on Saturday, to be delivered on Wednesday. Done, right?

Wrong.

The next day, Iti's parents come over to check out the swank new empty condo with us. After looking at the space for the washer/dryer and breaking out a tape measure, we panic. Will it really fit? I didn't write down measurements...

Back to the store!

Well, we get there, I measure the damn thing, and it needs to squeeze through the patio door to get installed. It's about 2 centimeters smaller than the door. Tight squeeze, but it should fit. Hooray! We're finally done!

Of course, when it got delivered, it didn't fit.

Iti had to get the building handy man to take down the door frame (bolted into the concrete walls), destroying parts of the walls in the process, to be able to get the washer in. Then he had to patch the walls and re-mount the door. It cost us an extra couple hundred pesos for the wall work, and LOADS of time. But hey, we finally got our washer and dryer. But of course it wasn't that simple. Now we just had to get a plumber to get them installed....

Sigh.

Until next time,

A Chicago Gringo in Mexico

The Worst Idea Ever

As you've heard me say before, driving in Mexico City is, um, an "experience". You often feel like you're taking your life into your own hands when you get behind the wheel- before you even leave your parking lot. It's not just the fact that there are millions of crazy drivers with no regard for others' property or human life. It's also the hostile terrain.

It's hard to pay attention to things like the cars trying to hit you, the pedestrians daring you to hit them as they jump in front of your moving car, or the mopeds and motorcycles weaving in and out of the tiniest gaps around you, because you have to STARE at the road in front of you. Constantly. Scanning for deadly obstacles. A Mexico City street is a non-stop barrage of speed bumps, killer potholes, and general debris lying in wait to destroy your car. I will never in my life complain about a Chicago pothole again after witnessing some of the craters that go unfixed on Mexico City streets. You're guaranteed to need a tow, if not a new car, if you ever hit one of these monstrosities.

It's not just the potholes though. They go out of their way to make impossible obstacles to navigate. One of our most-traveled roads, to get to Iti's parents' house, is a two lane road that they "expanded" by repainting the lane markers to three. How do you fit three cars abreast in a space only big enough for two? Child's play for a Mexico City driver! It happens ALL THE FREAKING TIME on these streets.

There's also the fine ideas of "roundabouts" in this great city. The rules are slightly different than in any other place on the planet. You go around the roundabout in any damn direction you want- right, left, over if you are driving a truck you don't own. They become not so much "roundabouts" as "roadblocks". My favorite intersection is three one way streets crossing with a huge roundabout in the middle. In rush hour it's a riot: cars from all streets are going both ways around the traffic circle, get stuck in the intersection (because they tried to run the red), and so you wind up with this impossible tangle of cars mashed bumper to bumper, door to door, door to bumper, everyone blocked by five vehicles all pointing different directions, and everyone honking at everybody else to get the hell out of YOUR way.

As bad as the city can be, it seemed tame and sane compared to our trip to Oaxaca, where we encountered the two worst ideas ever in road construction. The runner up was in Oaxaca itself; we're driving along the main road that goes outside the historic downtown district. Some genius decided "you know, this road is busy, and everyone wants to go downtown. Rather than having people make a left turn across traffic, why not move their lane to the leftmost?" Imagine the heart attacks I suffered when I'm driving along the avenue, three lanes in each direction, and all of a sudden you have to get over to the other side at the intersection. You cruise along with oncoming traffic on your right for awhile, and then suddenly you switch back to normal. It's like you're cruising along and all of a sudden BLIP You're in England! BLIP Back in Mexico again, get over right! BLIP Hey, we just crossed into India, everybody move over! in two blocks BAM Back in North America, back right! then suddenly HEY I think we're in Tazmania now!

Jeez.

That however was NOTHING compared to us stopping in this tiny town off the main toll highway in between Oaxaca and Mexico City. We're hungry and decide to stop for lunch. Iti asks me to take the next exit. I get off, and the town is on the other side of the highway, so there's an overpass. As I get off, I see another lane merging, but the arrows on the road are pointing the other direction (like I'm going the wrong way down a one way). I slow down and freak out a little bit, but it seems like I'm going the right way, so off we go. It gets to this NARROW skinny one lane overpass over the highway, then we're on the other side and cruise into town.

Of course we found no place that looked safe enough for lunch. We switched drivers and head back to the highway. To continue south to Oaxaca, we have to get back over the highway. We go down, and there's no overpass. Just the way we came...

Huh...

Wait a minute...

IS THAT A FREAKING TWO-WAY ROAD?!? YOU GOTTA BE FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!!!

Yep, that's right: a two way road, that is about 3 inches wider TOTAL than the wheel base of our tiny compact car. After sitting there stunned and trying to figure what to do (with all the traffic northbound honking at us because we're blocking the way), we decide to go for it. Iti starts up the ramp and CRAP! A fully loaded dump truck comes barreling over the top at about 45mph!!! He slams on the breaks, starts honking, we have to back up this tiny ramp so narrow that Iti has a hard time not going off-roading. The truck goes by after we get down, we take a breath, she starts up again, about a third of the way WHOA NELLIE!! A cement truck, followed by two cars, can be seen roaring over the top of the ramp. Again, the convoy of us backing up, while oncoming cars are flipping us off. A third time, and we can't make it to the half-way point before oncoming traffic forces us back.

Finally, we go up, and get over the half way point. There was a line of like three cars (and another dump truck) coming the other way, but we got over the half way point first, BECAUSE: a dude was walking his flock of goats over the ramp and blocked traffic for us.After the goats managed to somehow squeeze by us, we got to force the conga line backwards so we could go.

That ramp, as far as road work/city planning goes, is the Single Worst Idea Ever.

I'm sure glad Iti was driving...